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Saturday, December 01, 2012

• • Liam Neeson Takes Out Ben Affleck, But Just Barely 
Atlas Shrugged movie  | But the real bomb was Atlas Shrugged: Part II, which didn't even crack the top ten. All the Ayn Rand fans were probably busy watching Neeson kill a bunch of foreigners in Taken 2, which seems more like their thing anyway.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

 An Elegy for the Ron Paul Supporter 
Rand Paul  | [Rand Paul] campaigned on his father's ideological legacy (and his Randroid first name), only to spend the last two years nuzzling lovingly under the throat wattle of Kentucky's own Futuristic Hyperturtle Mitch McConnell.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

 Romney and Bibi: Middle East Policy By Two Best Buds Walkie-Talkiing After Bedtime 
Consider: back before the American empire piloted a Rascal bearing its own bloat off into a terminal sunset, we believed that politics ceased at our shores, that whatever domestic gamesmanship we might pursue, our foreign policy interests would not be prey to them. Laborers could still afford to go to baseball games, and Ayn Rand books were only shelved in the fiction section.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

 Dick's Got a New Heart: Why Cheney's Transplant Makes a Good Case For ObamaCare 
Breitbart.com criticized The Daily Beast’s questioning the means by which Cheney got his transplant, accusing it of “voicing the typically Obama-style view of looking at health-care as an avenue toward survival of the fittest.” This absurdly ignores the Randroid rhetoric on display on other parts of the site, as well as the fact that the nearly 50 million Americans currently without health insurance live a far more Darwinian existence than they would under the PPACA (Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act).

Friday, February 24, 2012

 How the GOP Primary Became a Contest Among America's Rich Drunk Uncles 
Peter Thiel, occasional speaker, National Review essayist, and Randroid internet mogul. He’s perfect, isn’t he? Thiel made his money from and staunchly believes in two things that essentially function on a contempt for other people or an outright fear of interacting with them. Any actual dependency on another crushes the idealized edifice of both and reveals a hollow dysfunction powered by teenagers.

Monday, February 13, 2012

 Huge Houses Are Morally Wrong 
Egoism  | Some people think that if the money is legally made, it is the right of the moneymaker to use that money how they see fit, and it’s not anyone else’s business. Well, if you believe that you’re some sort of Randian libertarian, and you should not be reading this website. Most reasonable people accept the fact that society itself contributes greatly to the ability of rich people to gain and, crucially, hold wealth (that is, the rule of law that society enforces ensures that rich people don’t all immediately get robbed and guillotined, as has been the fashion at various points in history); therefore, rich people owe a great debt to society. More than others do.

Saturday, December 31, 2011

• • The Most Excruciating Run-On Sentence in the History of the Internet [Thought Catalog] 
Atlas Shrugged  | Fascinating experiment in professionalized ego-blogging Thought Catalog has finally figured out the secret of life. “Wonder What The Secret Of Life Is,” Brandon Scott Gorrell muses in the title of a post that begins with a quote from Atlas Shrugged. (Then apologizes for beginning with a quote from Atlas Shrugged.)

Thursday, December 15, 2011

 The Outrageous Break-Up Quiz and Other Grim Tales of Dating Finance Pros 
Atlas Shrugged  | (From commenter Nohio.) [....] Me: [....] What’s the last book you read? Investment Banker: Atlas Shrugged. I try to read it once a year.

Friday, November 18, 2011

• • • Lululemon Run by Ayn Rand-Obsessed Ideologue 
Atlas Shrugged  |Capitalism  |Image  | I have come to believe there is something sinister about Lululemon. Something lurking just below the surface of their [...] cotton-spandex blends. Something like a cult-like obsession with Ayn Rand.

 The ‘Chocolate Rain’ Guy Sings About Our Screwy Economy 
Capitalism  |Video  | With "Mama Economy," [Tay] Zonday tries to explain the U.S. economy and its failings in song format—touching upon neoliberalism, market socialism, the "Ph.Ds and the G.E.D.s" who "cry with Ayn Rand down at the temp agency," wage stagnation, and many other issues that the Occupy Wall Streeters have been talking about, when they haven't been running from the chemical agents.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

• • • 100,000 ‘Atlas Shrugged’ DVDs Recalled for Perfectly Hilarious Reason 
Atlas Shrugged movie  |Atlas Shrugged  |Egoism  |Image  | In what appears to be a legitimate press release on the blog of the official Atlas Shrugged Part I website, the producers of the film have announced that they will “replace more than 100,000 title sheets appearing on the Atlas Shrugged Part 1 DVD and Blu-ray versions.” Sounds like a pain in the ass. Why? Did child porn pics somehow show up on them? No! But the ultimate Randian curse word — “self-sacrifice” — did, and that’s worse.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

 Colleges Second-Guess The ‘Raise Prices Forever’ Plan 
Sure, colleges are famous for being populated by bleeding heart liberal humanists and corporations are famous for being populated by cold-blooded heartless Randian automatons. But college educated automatons, don’t forget!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

 Poor Americans Are Making America Poor! 
Experts now tell us the odds of a double dip recession are at 50%. Do you like those odds? Do you? No. Not even you, the mewling, pleading, unproductive object of Randian derision, like 50% odds. You want decisiveness.

Friday, July 01, 2011

 How Republicans’ Balanced Budget Amendment Could Solve Everything 
Capitalism  | Democrats should say, sure, guys, we’ll give you your two-thirds vote in the Senate on this! You’ve persuaded us to adopt fiscal responsibility, with this well reasoned and not at all silly [Balanced Budget] amendment! Let’s do this, in honor of Thomas Jefferson and Ayn Rand and their many golden free-market bastard children in Heaven. Then use the entire institutional heft of the Democratic party to ensure that the minimum 13 states don’t ratify it, and it dies.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

 College Kids Think Gay Professors Are All Biased 
College students: will they ever be able to judge political bias with any accuracy? No, they haven’t even decided whether Ayn Rand or Chinua Achebe is cooler yet! So it’s no surprise they think every gay teacher is biased.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

 Facebook Billionaire’s Dangerous Party Draws Firefighters 
Assless chaps.“Full-on rager” partying. A Fire Department intervention. Peter Thiel’s hedge fund might have cratered, but the objectivist Republican’s private life is rocking.

Monday, June 06, 2011

• • • Catholics Take on the Republican Cult of Ayn Rand 
Atheism  |Atlas Shrugged  |Capitalism  |Egoism  |Paul Ryan  |Video  | Right-wingers have long been fascinated by Ayn Rand, the mid-century pop philosopher who defined moral behavior as doing whatever will make you, the individual, happy, and opposed any government intervention in the economy or charitable giving. Based on her economic beliefs, you can understand why, for example, Rep. Paul Ryan makes each of his staff members read her most famous novel Atlas Shrugged. But shouldn’t it bother some of these right-wingers that she was, to use their own language, a “radical atheist,” too?

Thursday, April 14, 2011

• • • Rand Paul teaches the senate about Ayn Rand 
Anthem  |Rand Paul  |Video  | Kentucky’s elaborate practical joke, “Rand Paul,” has struck again! Not a month after equating reproductive rights to his freedom to buy different kinds of toilets, Paul is now summarizing Ayn Rand novels during Senate committee hearings. [....] Your tax dollars at work, ladies and gentlemen: Using the 20th century's worst novelist to illustrate a morally and intellectually bankrupt position.

Thursday, March 03, 2011

 Cow porn judge loved Ayn Rand movie 

Atlas Shrugged movie  | “Exciting and rewarding for those of us who have been Rand fans for many years.” —Cow porn judge Alex Kozinski, in his IMDb review of Atlas Shrugged. Turns out Kozinski is a movie buff.

Monday, February 07, 2011

 Even teen hookers need abortions 

If I were to walk into the offices of the National Review and say, “I’m a pimp, here’s my ho, we’d like to subscribe,” should the receptionist pull a gun on me? Press the panic button? Or maybe engage me in banter about Ayn Rand to make me comfortable and gather information on me and call the cops after I leave?